Kids With Oppositional Defiant Disorder Need “Unconventional” Parenting Strategies
Kids with Oppositional Defiant Disorder are unconventional, and they need unconventional parenting strategies.
How do I know whether or not I have an unconventional child who will need to be parented using unconventional parenting strategies?
Please review the following statements. Are they true for you rarely, sometimes or frequently?
1. I have a hard time saying no to my child.
2. When I say no to my child, no eventually becomes a maybe which eventually becomes a yes .
3. I have blamed myself for my child s misbehavior.
4. I sometimes feel guilty
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5. I often feel distant from my child.
6. I feel that my child has no appreciation for all I ve done for him/her.
7. I try to be my kid s friend.
8. I sometimes feel sorry for my child.
9. I have gone off on my kid then out of feelings of guilt, I let him have his way.
10. My kid uses guilt-trips on me a lot.
11. My kid usually gets his way in the
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12. He can be verbally/physically aggressive.
13. She refuses to do any chores.
14. He is very manipulative.
15. I feel guilty because of having to work and not being able to spend enough time with my kid.
16. I feel sorry for the kid because of divorce or an abandoning father/mother.
17. I don t want my kids to have to go through what I went through.
18. My kid is in charge (the tail is wagging the dog).
19. My kid feels entitled to privileges, but not responsible for his actions.
20. She does not get along well
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21. He believes the rules do not apply to him.
22. She is resentful about something that happened in the past.
23. He has attention-deficit problems too.
Do these phrases describe your kid’s behavior fairly accurately?
1. Often loses temper
2. Often argues with adults
3. Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules
4. Often deliberately annoys people
5. Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
6. Is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
7. Is often angry and resentful
8. Is often spiteful and vindictive
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10. Often initiates physical fights
11. Has used a weapon that can cause serious physical harm to others
12. Physically cruel to animals
13. Physically cruel to people
14. Has stolen other’s property
15. Has broken into someone else’s house, building or car
16. Often lies to obtain goods or favors or to avoid work
17. Often stays out at night despite parental prohibitions
18. Has run away from home overnight without returning home for a lengthy period
19. Often skips school
If most of these statements are true for you
...instead of investigating the real source of the problem. The psychological symptoms of bipolar disorder can easily be mistaken for the symptoms of other psychological illnesses such as major depressive disorders schizophrenia, substance-induced mood disorders, or mood disorders caused by ...
Most parents who have kids with Oppositional Defiant Disorder are therapy-drunk. What I mean is their child has been in anger-management therapy for his violent outbursts, the family has had family therapy in order to develop conflict management skills, mom and dad have had couples therapy (or marital counseling) to resolve communication problems, mom has had individual psychotherapy for her depression. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. You don’t need any more therapy!
I find that when parents have a few simple parenting-tools in dealing with the out-of-control teen, they actually do
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Can I give you an idea real quick? A change agent is someone who influences another person to make some improvements in his behavior. You can learn how to be the change agent — and you ll do a much better job than others because you’re the kid s parent, and you will see him/her nearly every day as long as he/she continues to live at your house. A therapist would only have about 12 hours of influence time if he/she were doing “family therapy” with you and your kid you will have thousands of
...a highly competent professional. An external aggressive patient needs help from a strict therapist, one who is not lenient with all the patient s anti-social activities. The symptoms of bipolar disorder are really very tough, and a competent help is ...
You managed your child up until he/she reached puberty. Then your kid fired you as the manager and said, I ll take over from here. The best you can do now is to be re-hired as a consultant.
You can t control your kid, but you can influence him or her. And if the parent fails to influence the child, the world will CONTROL the child — and the world is not concerned about what is right or fair.
Know that your child WILL resist any parenting changes you implement. For a while, it may seem as though things are getting worse. This is because your child is adjusting
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No Half Measures! –
When parents implement unconventional parenting strategies, the change cycle looks something like this:
1. Initially, things get worse (i.e., your kid does not like your new parenting strategies and begins to act-out even more)
2. After a few weeks, problems between parent and child eventually occur less
frequently, but with the same intensity (e.g., instead of five heated arguments a week, there are only two)
3. Problems between parent and child occur less
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intensity (e.g., only one argument a week that is not very heated)
Will problems go away totally — and stay away forever? No. But problems are likely to occur with less frequency and severity over time. And you will be able to cope better due to a reduction in your stress-level.
You literally have the toughest job in the world, because you are helping with the development of a human being (your child). And humans are the most complex things on earth more complicated than computers (after all, humans created computers), more complicated than spacecraft (after all, humans created space craft). And humans are especially complicated when they are teenagers with
...may be a specially formulated medication or a simple dietary adjustment. Some natural remedies include giving your children a balanced diet or some sort of exercise program. Some even involves the learning of tools that children can use to moderate ...
For more information on unconventional parenting strategies, please visit www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com
Mark Hutten, M.A., is a family therapist and a probation officer who works with teens and pre-teens experiencing emotional/behavioral problems associated with Oppositional Defiant Disorder and Conduct Disorder. He works with these children and their parents in their homes. You may visit his website here: http://www.MyOutOfControlTeen.com/sl